Thursday, January 29, 2015

Leaders Pause, Look and Listen to Anticipate Your Next Need, As Leaders Are Self Directed!

In the movie "The Devil Wears Prada," the Second Editorial Assistant, anticipates her Boss's next need by calling her boss's favorite restaurant ahead of time to make dinner reservations AND messengers her boss's dinner outfit to the restaurant ahead of time without having to be asked by her boss to do so. This new Second Assistant soon gets promoted to First Assistant and goes to Paris Fashion Week with her boss! How does she do it? How does she know what her boss wants next? How does anyone know another person's next need without having to ask?

Whether you work as an assistant to a magazine editor, are a student looking to win a college scholarship, work as a nurse in a doctor's office, or are a clerk in a Retail store, in order to get ahead and be considered for a promotion, you must learn to be self directed. Self direction is a very important marketable skill and does not seem to be formally taught in school.

Great leaders look ahead and anticipate the customer's next need. Leaders are self directed. How does a person learn self direction? Pause, look and listen. Pause, look and listen. Pause, look and listen. Got it?

Practice observing your surroundings and those around you. Practice empathizing with those around you. Practice not talking. Get to know your boss and customers or patients through careful observation, paying attention to their office decor, their likes, their dislikes, their habits, their moods, their fears. Make positive, sound decisions. Practice trying to please another person without having to be asked on a small task. Get them a cup of coffee the way they like it without having to be asked. If this is a success, perform a small task without having to be asked. Organize something small, for example files or the jewelry counter. Arrange something small, for example, the type of muffins, bagels, or boxed lunch for an office meeting you know your Boss will like.

Once small tasks are successful, move onto larger tasks. For example, in a Retail setting, if you do not have the item wanted by the customer in stock and cannot order it from your company, call around to competing stores to find the item. Send your customer to the competitor so they may have the item. In return, the customer will be so thrilled you found them the item they wanted, you will earn their trust forever! They will be loyal to you and will come to you every time they need any item and will count on you to deliver. They will also tell their friends to come to you because you get things done, tasks accomplished.

The same principal applies for medical recommendations. If your doctor's office cannot perform a certain service, as a medical assistant or nurse, recommend another doctor who may perform the service and send your patient to that office. Your patient will be eternally grateful to you for your thoughtfulness and effort. By satisfying your patients need, you will gain the long term trust of the patient, and they will come to you with all their needs for life as you have earned the patients trust and long term loyalty forever! Customer loyalty cannot be bought. It must be earned.

One fabulous yet simple example of anticipating another person's next need is when at a dinner table, you are asked to pass the salt. Do you only pass the salt as you were asked to do, or do you go one step further and pass the salt and pepper. Why would you pass both the salt and pepper when only asked for the salt?

The answer is, by passing both the salt and pepper, you are anticipating the other person's next need, by providing the other person with something they don't even know they might need. They may later decide they want the pepper, and there it is. They don't have to interrupt anyone or wait for any  conversation too end to have the pepper. You have made it easier for the other person because you have do not have successfully anticipated their next need!

 The current trend for college scholarships is to invite 30 students, all competing for the same one scholarship to a luncheon. Students asked to pass only the salt, who pass only the salt do NOT get the scholarship.

People who pass both the salt and pepper when asked to pass only the salt are correctly anticipating the other person's next need and move on to the next level of competition.

Employers are looking for self directed employees. Bosses are not there to hold your hand while babysitting. They are there to check in on your performance. The employee who is self directed will be the future employee who will end up promoted to Office Manager, Retail Manager, CEO.

In conclusion, pause, look and listen to anticipate some one's next need and practice with your good intuition to solve the problem some one may not know they have!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Manners Matter

Manners may no longer say where you belong, 

but they still say who you are,

 and where you have been.


Good manners will take you everywhere you would like to go!

Sunday, January 4, 2015

New Year's Resolution: Be a Super Leader and Learn to Take the Criticisms!

Want a Resolution for 2015 and every year for the rest of your life?

Here at The Sabot School of Etiquette, we always say: "Leaders make others feel special." Eleanor Roosevelt vary famously said: "You teach others how to treat you." Leaders teach other people how to treat them, which is why some leaders are mediocre leaders, and some are super!

That being said, however, be aware that with leadership comes the stress and pressure of popularity, easy accessibility to others, group, school, community or national notoriety, and a responsibility to behave properly always.

Yes, we said there is pressure and stress to be a leader. It's just a higher level of daily stress to get used to. Leaders are problem solvers. They are kind and quiet. They look other people directly in the eyes and listen. Leaders are empathetic to others' situations, give well thought out statements and opinions calmly and wisely. Leaders are true to their own convictions. They try very hard to never make another person feel badly. Once you acclimate yourself to these higher stresses and pressures, and adjust your attitude accordingly, you can relax a bit until the insults and confrontations start. Then, there is much more work to be done getting used to that side of the coin that comes with leadership.

Written confrontations are always easy. Plenty of time to think about and write a positive reply. But remember, anything written down on paper and especially typed on the Internet, including all "private" E-mails and the "Public Babble Page" Facebook, are forever public domain.

Verbal confrontations require Diplomatic skills. It is said that a Diplomat does nothing and says nothing nicely. Making a little joke, or self deprecation works well when dealing with folks who want to tell you how to lead, or hostile hecklers. Clever puns and positive quick quips work well too. Dealing with a heckler takes practice. Have some general retorts at the ready and keep on smiling in your soul.

Dealing with the aftermath of all the criticisms once you get home to the peace and quiet takes practice also. Letting your anger go, coming to the realization that no one asks a question unless they already know the answer. Questions are people's way of showing what they know. Bullies always have to put others down to make themselves feel better, then they take the cowardly way out. So, don't fret too much about bullies. They are just unhappy people.  

Your strength as a leader will spur other people on to be strong. No one wants to be around a negative person. Everyone wants to be around someone who is positive yet humble, always deferring to others, letting others run the conversation and talk, thus, making other people feel special.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Animal Table Manners - Hilarious Christmas "Le Holiday Feast" Video !

Animal Table manners?? ...Hmmmm... Hey, they're Dogs, and then there's THE CAT !!

 Enjoy your Christmas meal at the big table with the big people, and don't forget to put forward your best table manners!

Enjoy, and remember to donate to your local animal shelter :))

Watch 13 Shelter Dogs And A Cat Take Part In A Hilarious Holiday Feast - Most Watched Today

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Have You Been a Good Holiday Guest This Weekend? Have You Done Your Guest Duties?

Have you been a good Thanksgiving Holiday weekend guest this weekend? Even if you are visiting your parents or a sibling, have you made your bed every morning? Have you offered to help the Hostess with the dishes, or with other chores? Have you brought a thoughtful house gift? Have you thanked everyone for a delightful time? Did you even realize guests have duties??

The following are a few ideas for all guests:

  • Bring a small, thoughtful house gift like a bottle of wine, or a Rum Cake or yummy cookies. 
  • Offer to help the Hostess, or just be self directed and start drying the dishes or taking out the trash.
  • Look around the house and find something to compliment the Host and Hostess on and mean it. 
  • Contribute to and keep your table conversation positive. Do not talk about religion or politics.
  • Make your bed each morning and upon leaving. 
  • Keep your room and bathroom picked up and neat. Clean up after yourself.
  • Y'all know the old saying about house guests and fish...after 3 days.....
  • Write a hand written Thank You note within 24 hours to your Host once you arrive back home. 
Be a good house guest by earning your keep and you will be invited back.

Don't be a good house guest and you'll get nothing next year but excuses:

"Sorry, we're going out of town this Holiday Season, maybe we'll see you around."

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Thanksgiving Table Manners from 0-10 in 60 Seconds

  Thanksgiving Table Manners from 0-10 in 60 Seconds 

 0.   Smile, greet everyone, then offer to help the Hostess.

 1.   Sit up straight in your chair and treat it like a church pew, not like a Lazy Boy chair.

 2.   Don't touch anything until the Host/Hostess sit down and place their napkins in their laps.

 3.   Have an age appropriate Grace or Blessing memorized and ready to go, just in case.

 4.   Place a dollop of all food offered on your plate whether you like it or not, and pass all dishes to the left with enthusiasm and a thank you.

 5.   Please, May I ask you to use your magic words often. Thank you! 

 6.   Fill your fork only 1/2 full (your fork is not a shovel) and raise it nicely to your mouth.

 7   Quietly say: "Please excuse me" if you must leave the table and place your napkin on your chair, the international signal for "I will return, do not take my plate."

 8.   Pace yourself with the rest of the table and pace yourself with the conversation as well.

 9.   Compliment and Toast the cook(s) and mean it with applause!

 10. Warmly thank the Host/Hostess for their hospitality, delicious food and lovely evening, then write a hand written "Thank You" note as soon as you arrive home.

 Be thankful, be with friends and family, be happy, be relaxed and be enjoying your Thanksgiving Day!